Should Real Men Do Housework?

Though we live in the new millennium, studies show that women continue to do a majority of the household chores. Since the 1950s, the mainstream of thinking has not shifted significantly from women being responsible for housework. One reason for this lack of change can be attributed to male stereotypes in the media. It is not masculine to clean; have you ever seen the Terminator washing dishes or James Bond clean floors? In the movies; masculine men blow things up, drive fast cars, use the latest gadgets and have women fawning all over them. These images run through your man's head, when he's asked to throw out the trash. It's true real men are capable of doing housework, but in the real world they chose not to. Let's look at some of the reasons why?



HIS ARGUMENT:

· When I buy groceries, she always claims that I buy the wrong brands.

· When I forget to put dirty dishes away, she sees it as a personal attack against her

· Why can't she understand that I need to unwind before I do housework?

· When I clean up, it's not good enough. There's no pleasing her, so why bother.



HER ARGUMENT:

· I'm tired of doing all the work around here and picking up after everybody

· It's emotionally and physically draining because I have to be responsible for things he should take care of.

· For once, I'd like him to show initiative and do things without having to be asked

· How come, he can change the oil in his car but doesn't know how to turn on the washing machine?



Though both arguments have validity, there can be no clear winner without compromise.

Suggestions for ending the stalemate:



1. Decide together what needs to be done in the home.

2. Share the workload fairly, i.e. the one who's better at math does the budget, etc.

3. Give up control and let go. If you want your man to do chores, let him do it his way.

4. If you have children, train them to pick up after themselves and increase their chores as they get older



Should a real man do housework? The answer is up to you, but first define a 'real man'. A real man strives to do what's right. A real man is confident of his masculinity and is not swayed by media stereotypes. A real man is responsible, and takes care of his family's needs. A real man will do housework, so that his spouse doesn't burn out. A real man's wife feels loved, and his children are secure.



For all you men out there who still refuse to do housework, here is some food for thought: It's the new millennium, the macho man has been replaced by the considerate man. Offering to give the kids a bath goes a lot further than flexing your biceps. Showing consideration is the new turn on. Try impressing your partner by doing your share around the house and leave the explosions to James Bond. Figure out how to use that washing machine.



Richmond Acheampong is a relationship coach and the Founder of Parent Tree, family resource. His web site promotes family health and balance thru thought provoking articles, books, advice columns and resourceful links. For more information and articles pertaining to family life, visit: http://www.parenttree.com"Healthy Homes and Happy Families"

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